Tuesday, May 25, 2010


NINE MONTHS. It has been nine months since the fallout. Since the drama and the hurt and the bullshittery.

It's no secret my wedding is coming, and that a large number of people (involved and not in last year's drama) will be congregating here in Austin for it.

And suddenly people I haven't spoken to since are commenting on my photos. They're leaving random comments on other people's pages. And then I saw a status message about not being a part of any drama until family was all under one roof again. And then I see one friend encouraging another to 'be a spark...'

And then I woke up this morning to find that all hell has broken loose again.

I didn't invite anyone that would cause this intentionally. I blame no one on my guest list for the current shitstorm.

But the timing of everything has me curious.

What drama were people not going to deal with? I'm not quite egotistical enough to assume, completely, that it is this exact drama currently populating my inbox. But - I wonder.

I wonder at the wording used to encourage someone to share their joy. "Be a spark." The chains of comments overflowing with joy about the upcoming gathering (Also known as MY WEDDING) seem to be pretty indicative that there is plenty of joy already - no spark needed there...

But then the links to Tribe answered that question for me. Three posts about Tribe in rapid succession from someone I love. Someone with a plane ticket and plan to be here for my wedding. Someone trying to share her joy. Someone who'd been planted with the idea to 'be a spark.' Someone who had no idea that she'd be sparking something quite the opposite of joy.

I have SO MUCH hurt for her. I am filled with sorrow for inviting her and unknowingly placing her in the middle of this fire. I am sorry that all the joy that caused her to post in the first place has been taken away and replaced with this shit.

Tribe knew damn well that we were all making a point to keep with her every day. That my wedding is |thisclose|. That we will all be together in Austin for said wedding. That we would see the posts Tribe can no longer send us since we all deleted and blocked them. And they knew it would end this way. That we'd be hurt - and be vocal about it because that's who we are. Because we have nothing to hide, and so live our lives publically. I am not curious about any of that - I believe, heart and soul, that it is truth.

I am curious about Tribe's intentions. I doubt very seriously that the pain we are currently dealing with was the sole reason. Are they so jealous of their friend that they want to drive a wedge between her and us? Were they honestly trying, hoping, we would 'see the light' and come back? Were they afraid we'd say something to sever her affiliation with Tribe? and if so... Were they really not aware of how little any of us think about Tribe anymore?

I'm relatively sure *I* am the only one who has given Tribe any serious thought in the last nine months. Because I had to. Because I was nervous about this EXACT scenario. There were other people who I didn't invite because of this exact situation, because it would have been an issue. So I have kept up with who is friends with who and not and tried to sort it as best I could.

And failed apparently.

Because Tribe refuses to let go. To let US go. and to leave us alone.

But - it happened now. Not in nineteen days. So I will still have my love fest wedding of awesomeness. And everyone that has been invited, is STILL invited. And I trust that all my guests - once here and away from Tribe influence and venom - will love us and love each other and it will still be a beautiful thing. A powerful thing. Even moreso for having survived this.

So - I still win.

Tribevillian 2, Tribe 0.

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